Meet a Quadriplegic Mom Raising Twins
siteadminDani Izzie and her husband, Rudy, insist there’s nothing special about how they’re raising their twin girls in rural Virginia. Except that in 2009 Dani slipped on a bathroom floor and snapped her neck, paralyzing almost everything from her chest down. But that did not stop her from getting married, and pregnant, and giving birth to Lavinia and Giorgiana during the pandemic. Correspondent Lee Cowan talks with an extraordinary woman, subject of the documentary “Dani’s Twins,” who just wants to be considered a normal mom.
Transcript
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to have a child it’s one of life’s biggest decisions made immeasurably more difficult
if a parent is disabled Lee Cowan introduces us to a woman who made that decision and came away
doubly blessed sisters can help you climb a tree those are silly koalas Dani Izzie and her husband
Rudy insist there’s nothing really extraordinary about how they’re raising Lavinia and Giorgiana
they’re twin girls out here in rural Virginia oh a cake a happy birthday cake double the fun
always means double the chaos I’ve had periods over the past two and a half years where I’ve
been very tired just like any other new mom you know okay we’re just two normal people
raising twins alongside their parenting challenges are their personal challenges
please check I have paralysis in both my lower and upper limbs but thankfully her
paralysis isn’t complete hey Rudy can you help me real quick my hands are paralyzed
so my fingers I can’t move them individually and my triceps specifically are paralyzed in my arms
and then my core my abdominals and my back muscles are paralyzed you want me to help no we often do
things probably different than other people do it but Dani supports me and I support her it’s just
different yeah just go forward a bit there can be people around who boots say it’s not normal
there’s a sock in there and this is proof well yeah it is did you always want to be a mom yes
I had my injury almost 15 years ago initially I was like I still want this but how Dani had always
been easy going and outgoing she grew up outside Washington DC went to college abroad in Rome
Adventure it seems was in Her Bones but in 2009 when she was only 23 she slipped on a bathroom
floor and snapped her neck paralyzing almost everything from her chest down the first two years
coping were the hardest she says both physically and psychologically when you’re always thinking
of how you’re gonna walk again you’re living your life waiting but there came a moment when
her waiting stopped and it was a moment straight out of Hollywood I can’t be like this Frankie One
Night in her acute rehab facility the film Million Dollar Baby how about that playing you might
remember Hilary Swank plays a boxer who ends up a quadriplegic so despondent over her situation she
asked her trainer played by Clint Eastwood please don’t ask me help take her own life I’m asking is
this what my life is supposed to be like be so devastated that I go die shouldn’t I try to get
in a wheelchair shouldn’t I try to live shouldn’t I think about falling in love and getting married
and having kids and pursuing a career what was the answer I think the answer was really adapting
to my life with a disability and accepting that having a disability is not the end of the world
pretty big acceptance though isn’t it yes but I’m tenacious that tenacity in part is perhaps
what led her to putting herself out there on dating apps that’s where she met Rudy in
2016 their first date whiskey and ice cream whiskey and ice cream great date he was so
easy to talk to he didn’t have any qualms about my disability so that was nice for once right
soon after their wedding they sought out an OB GYN who confirmed what Dani already knew
her paralysis didn’t preclude her ability to have children I got pregnant right away it was Rudy who
first realized that they were getting a lot more than they bargained pool sounds like as they’re
supposed to be two she said why why and I was like too what the lady was like you didn’t know
we were like no we didn’t know both babies have normal heart rates both babies have normal fluid
and there’s no evidence of any trouble with them getting along in there a friend of hers who was
also a filmmaker suggested Dani and Rudy make a documentary film their entire wonderful adventure
and put it out there for all to see it’s almost the ultimate clickbait right quadriplegic woman
gives birth to twins during the pandemic I’m having strong regular contractions the result
Dani’s twins a documentary that continues to be a fan favorite at film festivals I just don’t feel
comfortable videoing myself I wanted to filming was just come here and awkward at first okay
um but as Dani became more confident on camera she became more confident about her message too
Society doesn’t think we’re capable of being good parents Prejudice pure and simple although
more than three hundred thousand people are living with a traumatic spinal cord injury in
this country most of them are men there aren’t even numbers on how many moms are living with
paralysis let alone those who have twins I’ve had many friends who are also quadriplegic women who
are told that they should have their tubes tied based on what I don’t know Sigma when Dani began
posting about her pregnancy most were supportive but there were plenty of internet trolls too
there are some pretty nasty comments saying that I’m selfish that I shouldn’t be having
children how can I take care of children when I can’t take care of myself taking care of myself
for babies in April of 2020. six weeks early Lavinia and Giorgiana finally arrived to have
my body do something right it was just very empowering I was like wow I’m in a quote-unquote
broken body but it’s not broken it is strong it made me feel powerful as a woman look I got
it yeah say good job Mama good job Mama but it was also pretty humbling multiple feedings
diaper changes this takes so much patience I swear but she and Rudy are a well-oiled team
typical day with twins eating sleeping nursing pumping it’s exhausting and she does all of this
while working a full-time job we just got our own company off the ground access social a digital
marketing firm that connects businesses with the disability community what little time is
left in her schedule she devotes to a private Facebook support group she started called Quad
Squad with 400 members many of them moms they understand each other in perhaps ways others
can’t we share pictures with each other we get our questions answered to share our experiences
you better keep up Lavinia and Giorgiana now three have unwittingly proven Dani’s critics all wrong
he’s thriving and so are they there are dictionaries full of tempting superlatives
you could use to describe this family of four but there’s one in particular that Dani would ask you
not to use inspiring I think it’s wonderful that people feel inspired and I’m inspired by other of
my friends with disabilities as well but I don’t want to go to the grocery store and have somebody
come up to me and say randomly you’re so inspiring why because I’m at the grocery store I want to be
seen as normal I want to be seen on the same level as everybody else I don’t need to be inspiring
come on this way she’s a wife and a mom who may have lost what so many of us take for granted but
these days she says she’s never felt more whole it feels like I got a gift two of them two yeah